Celebrate getting older & wiser
It is a gift many are denied
Like most, I felt slightly panicked when I turned 30. Beyond the obvious reason of now being required to adult — I didn’t really know why? Despite there being things I hadn’t ticked off someone else’s made-up checklist of ‘things to do before you’re 30’, I was happy with where I was at.
Still, my heart subconsciously drops slightly when I don’t get ID’d and the shop assistant clicks the ‘visibly over 25’ button without hesitation. I’m sure I’m not the only one but again, I don’t really know why? Probably because we are conditioned to long for eternal youth.
But birthdays and getting older are, and should be, a cause for celebration — not just up until our 21st or 30th. We’ve made it round the sun for another year, living and breathing every day of it.
When I was 19 our family of eight became a family of seven. Becky, my sister was just 17 at the time. Today is (would be) her 30th birthday.
A lot of things happen when we lose someone we love. You quickly learn life will have moments of pain, which you can’t ignore or pretend will go away.
We immediately gain perspective both on how short life is and how finite death is. But this isn’t just about valuing life and it’s fragility — it’s about appreciating how much you get of it and being grateful, not resentful of getting older.
It’s only been in the last few years and realising how young I was at the time, I comprehend how young 17 is.
That’s not a life — that’s not even the first act.
Back then, it did give me an appreciation of what real pain and problems were, or at least what my definition would be. I recall being with a “friend” in the days just after I found out. This friend had the audacity to be crying over a boy. It wasn’t even a break up. I think he hadn’t answered her calls after being out the night before. It took every bit of me not to unclip her seatbelt and push her out of the door of my Corsa.
Safe to say, that friendship didn’t last.
It took a while to not feel guilty getting down over trivial or insignificant things. When I got upset over boys that were, well boys, or things weren’t going the way I wanted at work, I’d check myself.
I still do.
Remind yourself to appreciate that you are getting to experience it — life in all its shit and glory. Because sadly, cruelly and unfairly, some do not.
For me, being grateful for the time we get means getting clarity on who, what and how you spend your time because it’s finite. Not being afraid to walk-away from something you’ve invested time in— again, because time is finite.
It’s appreciating the amount you can grow, change and the experiences to be had in each passing year. Me at 18 — I wasn’t an adult. The experiences, knowledge and people I’ve acquired in the last 10 years have helped make me the 2020 me.
I’m excited for how the next 10 years will shape me. As we all should be.
So next time you’re begrudging slapping on your anti-aging cream, don’t. Be grateful for the extra laughter lines acquired that year.
